Joke #12865

I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: flirt, sex, sport

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After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
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Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
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has 71.19 % from 380 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
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has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport, time, wife, work