I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."