Joke #12948

Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
Vote:
has 86.04 % from 452 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology
There was three people approaching the gates of heaven But there was only one place left. The gate keeper asked the first man what happened to him because the one with the worst death would go inn. The first man said: "Well imagine that I expected my wife was having an affair, so I got home early to surprise her. I found her in the bathroom with a towel round her so I knew she wasn't having a shower so I search the apartment and found 10 fingers hanging from the window sill. So I started bashing away at them. When he fell god must have loved him, because he lived. So I threw a refrigerator at him. After all the excitement I died of a heart attack." That's horrific said the gate keeper, he asked the second man how he died and he said. "Well imagine this I was riding one of those stationary bike on the top of our apartment building but it went wrong I feel down and grabbed some ones window sill. Then some idiot started bashing ar my fingers then I fell but god must have loved me because i lived then -SHANNOOOWWWW- a refrigerator plunged down at me" That is to horrific. He asked the third man how he died and he said. "Well imagine that I was naked in a refrigerator..."
Vote:
has 85.67 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: death, health, heaven, life, wife
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her. Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun." The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"
Vote:
has 84.66 % from 468 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, ginger, life, travel
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Vote:
has 84.50 % from 1129 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Vote:
has 84.46 % from 1635 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Vote:
has 84.46 % from 2160 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Vote:
has 84.46 % from 1682 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, travel
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
Vote:
has 84.26 % from 793 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, technology, wife, winter
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Vote:
has 84.19 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw." From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!" "Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You tightwad!" blurts the spectator. "Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout. The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?" "I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
Vote:
has 84.12 % from 234 votes. More jokes about: death, life, time