Joke #13288

Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A: A Ducktor.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: doctor, duck

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Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
A guy walks into a tavern. As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?" The bartender told him he that would tell him later. So the guy asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish." "Okay," said the guy. He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it. Poof. Out came a genie. The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish." The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared. In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him. The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks." The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"
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has 80.72 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: bartender, duck, genie, money, music
Q: What is another name for a gynecologist? A: A private investigator.
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has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: doctor, work
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 80.99 % from 638 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, medical, money, party
A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby pops right back inside. “Damn!”, says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. “Are you my dad?”, asks the baby. “No, I am your doctor.”, he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get that baby’s father in here right away–we may have a situation on our hands!”. Moments later the baby’s father is in the delivery room, and the baby’s head once again pops out. “Are you my dad?”, the baby asks of the father. The father replies, “Yes, little baby, I am your father!” The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger–”How do you like that?”
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has 76.43 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, dirty, doctor, women
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods… “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
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has 84.10 % from 347 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, food
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
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has 35.52 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, student, teacher
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: duck, lawyer
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, life