Joke #13288

Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A: A Ducktor.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, duck

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner. Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck. The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up. Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in. "Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, duck, food, political
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, food, love, teacher
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
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has 66.15 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, golf, sport
A guy walks into a quiet bar carrying three ducks-one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the bartender. The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the restroom. Now, the bartender is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation. "What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks. "Huey," answers the first duck. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day." "Oh, that's nice," says the bartender. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?". "Dewey," comes the answer. "So how's your day been, Dewey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again." So the bartender turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie." "No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, duck
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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has 36.62 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, family