Joke #13325

Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
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has 97.11 % from 950 votes. More jokes about: christian, religious, science

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A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
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has 80.01 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, christian, communication, religious, time
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 37.09 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Jesus walks into an inn and hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"
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has 33.22 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: bar, christian, religious
Q: What do you get when you complete science class? A: A graduated cylinder.
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, graduation, science
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
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has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: bible, christian, game
Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
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has 80.60 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: christian, customer service, doctor, money
Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
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has 22.78 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bible, car, christian, time
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, science, Yo mama
I just recently discovered that there is a national holiday named after Atheism. April FOOLS day. Like this story in the name of Jesus.
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has 29.93 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: April fools, christian