Joke #1349

Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
Vote:
has 76.63 % from 309 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.
Vote:
has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
Vote:
has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."
Vote:
has 78.61 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, teacher
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote:
has 77.11 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote:
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
Vote:
has 80.30 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
Vote:
has 76.56 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Vote:
has 23.44 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote:
has 74.23 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex