Joke #1350

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
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has 54.10 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man gets shipwrecked on a small island. After a few days wandering, he comes across a tribe of natives who have just lost their chieftan. The tribe's high priest tells the man that as he is the first outsider they have seen in twenty years, he must take three tests. If he passes al three tests, the tribe will accept him as their new chief. "Fair enough," says the man. "Just let me know what the tests are and I'll get right on them." The piest takes him to a clearing with three straw huts in it, turns to the man and explains the tests. "In the first hut, you'll find 20 gallons of our native beer. You must drink all of this to complete this test. In the second hut is a gorilla with a sore tooth. You must pull his tooth and survive to pass this test. In the third hut is the ex-chieftan's daughter. You must make love to her until she can take nomore." The man agrees to the tests and begns the first test. Three hours later, he walks out of the hut and goes toward the second hut. The priest asks if he would like to have a rest, but the man says he wants to get all the tests done before he sleeps. He goes into th second hut. After two hours he comes out covered from head to toe in blood and sctratches. He turns to the priest and says "Now lead me to the girl with the sore tooth."
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has 77.03 % from 1060 votes. More jokes about: beer, desert island, love, priest, sex
Mary and Jane are talking. Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying. ‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane. ‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary. ‘I got pregnant within two months.’ ‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
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has 68.99 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: sex
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
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has 74.71 % from 315 votes. More jokes about: sex
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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has 58.60 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute. The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall. He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected. The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
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has 73.37 % from 699 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, dad, dog, sex
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
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has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
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has 68.32 % from 718 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.
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has 30.54 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: sex
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
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has 38.12 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
Did you hear about the new contraceptive pill for men? You put it in your shoe and it makes you limp.
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has 42.33 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: sex