Joke #1350

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
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has 54.10 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
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has 74.50 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 65.81 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
A ship goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island. Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived. So they come to this agreement. All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies. The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful. It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
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has 77.43 % from 790 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, desert island, marriage, sex
Yo momma so fat when I crawl in her pussy I can't find my way out.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, sex, Yo mama
A man was talking to his wife about going to the social security office. He said he would go the next day. So the next morning he goes but when he gets there he realized he forgot his license and she said that was fine she could tell his age by the hair on his chest. So he opened his shirt and everything went smoothly. He got home and told his wife what happened and she said: "well honey if you would have pulled down your pants you could have filed for disability."
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, sex, wife
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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has 29.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
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has 71.12 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’ ‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims. ‘I thought you rolled them on!’
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has 38.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
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has 61.01 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: math, sex
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
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has 57.60 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: car, school, sex