What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
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Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they?
A: His left hand and his right hand.
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A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?"
Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.
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A man and his wife were having sex one night in there bedroom.
There little boy opens the door and says "Daddy what are you doing to mama?"
Then the daddy says "Making you a little sister"
And then the boy replies "Hell no do it doggy style I want a puppy."
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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I’m a very giving lover – I give Green Shield Stamps.
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy?
Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that?
Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time.
Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning?
Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you.
Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that?
Casey: yes you should try it.
NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING.
Casey: What happened to you?
Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it.
Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say?
Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
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