Joke #13609

Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone asked. "Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
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has 76.32 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer

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A lawyer has just settled down in his new office. So now, he is thinking what he can do to have clients. After a long time thinking, a man comes into the office. Right away, the lawyer decides to make his new plan take action. So he picks up the phone and says: "Unfortunately, Ms. Onassis, I cannot undertake your case right now. I am working full time, call me in a month to see if I can help you." He puts the phone down and says to the waiting man: "How can I help you sir?" "Nothing really, I am from telephone communications, I just came to connect your phone."
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has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, office, phone, work
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case. "Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other." "Okay, you first," replied the other. That was the end of the discussion.
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has 76.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news." "What's the bad news?" asks the accused. "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it." "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is 130."
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, lawyer, prison
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for lawyers? A: Because after they die, they lie still.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer, life
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention. The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?" The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
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has 66.04 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man. "And why not?" "Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bartender, lawyer
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, kids, wife
Man to lawyer: ‘If I give you £500, will you answer two questions?’ Lawyer: ‘Absolutely. What’s the other question?’
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer