Joke #14200

Would you like to hear a construction joke? [Yes] Well I'm still working on it.
Vote:
has 57.01 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: work

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Vote:
has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, car, Chuck Norris, work
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Vote:
has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fat, IT, work
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
Vote:
has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: internet, soccer, sport, time, work
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
Vote:
has 83.48 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: communication, health, life, management, work
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote:
has 77.51 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: management, work
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
Vote:
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, work, Yo mama
An old seamstress is slowly walking back to her job from lunch, when a flasher jumps out of an alley and opens his coat wide. The old woman looks him up and down, shakes her head sadly, and says "You call that a lining?"
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, work
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
Vote:
has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?!" "Well," said the guy, "you see, I’m a chiropractor and I could see that you were tense, so I had to massage your back. Sometimes I just can’t help practicing my art!" "That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"
Vote:
has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, work
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, time, work