Joke #15

A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?" And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
Vote: has 73.54 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, life, sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Vote: has 85.91 % from 1961 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, family, life, sex
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
Vote: has 85.87 % from 594 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for ill*gally grown dr*gs." The rancher says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? " The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis Bull... With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs... "Your badge... Show him your badge!"
Vote: has 85.66 % from 171 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, drug, life
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, "Nope." As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins snarling and growling, and then attacks the jogger's legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" The old man mutters, "Ain't my dog."
Vote: has 84.17 % from 242 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, life
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Vote: has 83.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, life
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story. "Once upon a time there was a white bunny..." "Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?" "Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said. "Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...." "Dad, a little more grown up!" "Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown. " I swear!" "Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Vote: has 83.08 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, life, science
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?" Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor." Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?" Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
Vote: has 83.02 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, doctor, health, hospital, life
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Vote: has 82.48 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
I was in Venice Beach in January and there was a homeless man with a sign that said "1 dollar for dirty joke." Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar. Homeless man: "Alright sir whats your name?" Me: "John" Homeless man: "So Johny, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have." Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?" Me: "Two?" Homeless man: "Right again, now there is this white cat walking around how many hairs are on that white cat?" Me: "I don't know? A lot?" Homeless man: "Well Johny, why do you know so much about black cock and not enough about white pussy."
Vote: has 82.42 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, money
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Vote: has 82.37 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, sex, work