Joke #1653

Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger? A: A Doberman.

What did the black man do first time when they saw a ship? They stick they’re head in the water to see if it has wheels!

Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything. The shop owner suggests a faithful dog. The man replies, “Come on, a dog?” The owner says, “How about a cat?” The man replies, “No way! A cat certainly can’t do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!” The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, “I’ve got it! A centipede!” The man says, “A centipede? I can’t imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay… I’ll try a centipede.” He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, “Clean the kitchen.” Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and… it’s immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He’s absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, “Go clean the living room.” Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered. The man thinks to himself, “This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!” Next he says to the centipede, “Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper.” The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later…no centipede. 20 minutes later… no centipede. 30 minutes later… no centipede. By this point the man is wondering what’s going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later… still no centipede! He can’t imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede? So he goes to the front door, opens it…and there’s the centipede sitting right outside. The man says, “Hey! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What’s the matter?!” The centipede says, “I’m goin’! I’m goin’! I’m just puttin’ on my shoes!”

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Why do niggers carry shit in their wallet? Identification.

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

A doctor, an architect, and an attorney were dining at the country club one day, and the conversation turned to the subject of their respective dogs, which were apparently quite extraordinary. A wager was placed on who had the most intelligent dog. The physician offered to show his dog first, and called to the parking lot, “Hippocrates, come!” Hippocrates ran in, and was told by the doctor to do his stuff. Hippocrates ran to the golf course and dug for a while, producing a number of bones. He dragged the bones into the country club, and assembled them into a complete, fully articulated human skeleton. The physician patted Hippocrates on the head, and gave him a cookie for his efforts. The architect was only marginally impressed, and called for his dog, “Sliderule, come!” Sliderule ran in, and was told to do his stuff. The dog immediately chewed the skeleton to rubble, but reassembled the fragments into a scale model of the Taj Mahal. The architect patted his dog and gave him a cookie. The attorney watched the other two dogs, and called “Bullshit, come!” Bullshit entered and was told to do his stuff. Bullshit immediately sodomised the other two dogs, stole their cookies, auctioned the Taj Mahal replica to the other club members for his fee, and went outside to play golf.

What's the difference between a white naked woman and a black naked woman? The white girl is seen in Playboy and the black chick is seen on National Geographic.