Joke #1716

Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
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has 39.46 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
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has 57.62 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 45.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.
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has 80.34 % from 474 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
I would kick you straight in the vagina... If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.
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has 59.86 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
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has 77.02 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel. "How come you have your t*ts on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant. "Well why do you have your d*ck on your face?"
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has 69.37 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
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has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
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has 63.17 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife