Q: What did one tampon say to the other? A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Q: Why can women play hockey? A: Because they have to change their pads after every period.
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?" Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation" The teacher stared at him and fainted.
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Man comes home to find his 17 yr old daughter with a d*ldo up her. "What are you doing," he shouts. "Well you won't let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute," she explains. The next night the daughter comes home to find her dad with a d*ldo up his arse drinking a can of beer, "What are you doing," she shouts. He replays, "Having a beer with your boyfriend."
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
I think I just evolved into Homo Erectus.
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.