Joke #1862

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.

While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"

Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.

Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.

What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."

Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."

Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".

A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"

I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.

A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes. "I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible." Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.