Joke #1862

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: beauty

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After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beauty, football
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: beauty, hipster
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
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has 69.18 % from 1070 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, beauty, black people, parrot
The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Of course, my son," said the priest. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest. "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man. "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".
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has 85.28 % from 7592 votes. More jokes about: beauty, god, priest, sex
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
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has 16.86 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, ugly, vulgar, women
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, music, women