My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
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A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me.
After some moments I dared to ask her: "Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife."
The lady responded: "It is Chanel and from Paris."
After about ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out.
Some seconds later she broke and said: "Offf... what is this smell my God"?
I said: "Gar lic and from Gilroy city in California."
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
For hare care.
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
Vote:
A man, during his night prays, asks God: "Oh, Lord... Why you’ve made women so beautiful?"
God replies: "So you can love them, my child."
"Fine, but my Lord, why you’ve made them so stupid?"
"So that they can love you back, my child...!"
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday.
There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land.
I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?"
Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."