Joke #1862

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: beauty

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Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
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My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
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Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, birthday, blonde
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants."
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has 83.24 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, pirate
One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."
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has 78.14 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night? A: Cold cream!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, wife, winter