Joke #1862

My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
Vote: has 48.11 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
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Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, communication, money, women
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, Facebook, internet
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
Vote: has 75.60 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, desert island, dog, food, men
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
Vote: has 85.12 % from 2305 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, love, marriage, sex, wife
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
Vote: has 74.36 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, flirt, food, love
A crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her embarrassment she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large guy who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. The went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!" The guy smiled and drawled, "Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kind’a figured we were friends."
Vote: has 85.81 % from 374 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, beauty, women
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".
Vote: has 57.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, mexican, prison
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law