Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis?
Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
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MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED:
G: Nobody gets the girl.
PG: The good guy gets the girl.
R: The bad guy gets the girl.
X: Everybody gets the girl!
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant?
A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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What’s the difference between goats and women??
Goats are always horney.
They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?
A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future:
Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.
Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation.
They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver’s seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down!
She loaded her bags into the car and then drove to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, about 75, and carrying a large handgun.
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