Joke #1988

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
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Yo mamma so old she pre-order the bible.
Vote: has 75.17 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
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A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
Vote: has 33.22 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
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Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
Vote: has 15.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple." This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny. He exclaims, "R is for rats big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"
Vote: has 71.19 % from 211 votes. Send joke:
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Son: "Daddy; why some of your hairs have turned white?" Father: "Every lie told by you makes one of my hairs white." Son: "Oh now I understood why all grandfathers' hairs are white."
Vote: has 84.95 % from 285 votes. Send joke:
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Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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