Joke #2332

What do you call an afghan virgin Mever bin laid on

I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.

"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"

Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.

Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!

Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.

Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."

My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.