How do you save a nigger from drowning? You take your foot of his head!
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
Q: How does every black joke start? A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager. Flying planes, bombing Germans...
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the meatballs are bull's testicles, and when the bull loses the bullfight, the bull is brought to the restaurant, and this beautiful dish is made. The diner tells the waiter that he wants the bulls testicles for dinner, but the waiter tells him that only one bull a day is brought to the restaurant, but he can have it tommorrow. The diner agrees. The next day the diner goes to the restaurant, and orders the testicle dish. When his food is brought out, he notices that the meatballs are extremely small. He mentions this to the waiter, and the waiter replies: "Well sir you have to understand, sometimes the bull wins".