Joke #248

What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: men, sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt. He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle." The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra." The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!"
Vote:
has 84.91 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, wife
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Vote:
has 83.19 % from 1435 votes. More jokes about: god, men, sex, time
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Vote:
has 79.48 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Vote:
has 77.52 % from 447 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Vote:
has 73.28 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
Vote:
has 73.22 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: blonde, men, sex, stupid, women
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
Vote:
has 70.99 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: gay, geography, men, sex, women
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote:
has 70.28 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
Vote:
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men, sex, women
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women