Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
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Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?"
Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
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Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
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What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself.
Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy.
Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely.”
Sophie agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and says,
“Excuse me, mister. I hope I’m not prying, but my friend and I were wondering why you looked so lonely.”
“Of course I’m lonely, he says, “I’ve spent the past 20 years in prison.”
“You’re kidding! What for?”
“For killing my third wife. I strangled her.”
“What happened to your second wife?”
“I shot her.”
“And, if I may ask, your first wife?”
“We had a fight and she fell off a building.”
“Oh my,” says Sophie. Then turning to her friend on the other side of the pool, she yells,
“Yoo hoo, Shirley. He’s single.”
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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Yo Mama's teeth are so spaced out it looks like her tongue is in jail.
What do you call Black people running down a hill?
Jail break.
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