Joke #256

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
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has 46.32 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison

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It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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My iPhone fell from the 20th floor. Good thing it was in airplane mode.
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What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women? An inmate.
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Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, men, phone, travel
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: management, prison
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 27.71 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, prison
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, food, life, prison