Joke #256

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
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has 44.54 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison

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Eight hours into his trial Paddy pleads guilty. "Why didn't you plead guilty at the beginning and save the court's time?" The judge demanded. "Well," Paddy responded, "until I heard all the evidence I thought I was innocent."
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has 81.40 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: prison, stupid, time
A man was strolling along a beach in California. On giving the sand a kick he struck a corked bottle. He bent down, picked it up and removed the cork. Immediately, a Genie came out of the bottle and said to him, "Master, I have been a prisoner in this bottle for a thousand years and now you have set me free. For that, I will grant you one wish." The man thought for a moment then said, "I always wanted to go to Hawaii but I am afraid to fly and I get sick on a ship. Could you build a highway from California to Hawaii?" "Master, that is a difficult wish to fulfill. Can you think of something that is more practical?" The man thought for a moment and said, "Could you tell me why women are the way they are?" The Genie thought for a moment before replying, "Would that be two lanes or four?"
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has 74.71 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, prison, time
What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A small medium at large.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cop, prison
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
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has 73.28 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: life, phone, teen
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, poems, prison, women
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
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has 70.49 % from 378 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.” “Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor. “Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.” “Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
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has 84.56 % from 606 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, phone, wife, women
Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
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has 75.93 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama