Joke #256

Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
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has 44.88 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison

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Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand: "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "And why were you arrested?" the judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one. "What's your name?" he asked. "John," the guy answered. "Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked. "I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke." he answered. Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy. "What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; John." he said. "No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."
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has 76.81 % from 1000 votes. More jokes about: gay, lawyer, prison
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement" Me: "Thank you."
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, prison, time
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: phone, sport
Calling for information about one of my credit cards, I got the following recorded prompt: "Please enter your account number as it appears on your card or statement." I did as instructed, and the system said, "Please enter your five-digit ZIP code." After I put that in, I got a third message: "If you would like your information in English, press one."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, phone
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden." The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, money, prison, wife
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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has 55.18 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT, music, phone
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex