Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Leonard: Why?
Jacob: She had bright students!
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Teacher: "Are you good at math?"
Pupil: "Yes and no."
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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The answer to the problem was “log(1+x)”.
A student copied the answer from the student next to him, but didn’t want to make it obvious that he was
cheating, so he changed the answer slightly, to “timber(1+x).”
A boy tells his friend that he has a crush on his teacher.
The second boy says, ‘Man, that is disgusting.’
The first boy says, ‘What?
Everyone has a crush on their teacher.’
The second boy says, ‘Yeah, but you’re home-schooled.’
Teacher: Daniel, I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Daniel: I’m glad it’s Friday!
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.
The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class?
Let’s start with you, Robert.”
Robert: “The artwork.”
Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?”
Peter: “Her tits!”
Teacher: “Peter, get out!
Go stand in the hall!
And you, Johnny?”
Johnny: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving…”
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?"
Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library.
He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man.
Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon.
Please allow me to rephrase my question.
Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”