Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school? Leonard: Why? Jacob: She had bright students!
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.
Hunter: What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school? Josh: Beats me. Hunter: Pop quizzes!
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed whereas in college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week? A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”