Joke #2694

Q: How do you know when a women's about to say something smart? A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
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The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
Vote: has 73.31 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote: has 54.77 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Vote: has 13.52 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why can't women read maps? A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do horny women order at Subway? A: Footlongs.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." The doctor says "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly." "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."
Vote: has 84.58 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Vote: has 30.43 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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