Joke #2715

Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for £1 million? Woman: Why Winston, yes I would. Churchill: What about £10? Woman: What sort of woman do you think I am? Churchill: We have already established what sort of woman you are, now we are just negotiating the price.
Vote: has 84.28 % from 148 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting? Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, wife, women
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, men, republican, women
Two boys go into a forest and walk around. Suddenly they see a naked women, then one of the boys run away. The other chases after him. The boy asked "Why did u run away?" The other said "My mom told me if i saw a naked women i'd turn to stone, i already felt something getting getting hard."
Vote: has 83.65 % from 737 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!" "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
Vote: has 83.96 % from 253 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, phone, women
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started. After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress. On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again. On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?” “Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, time, women, work
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 64.65 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women