Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."
Father: "Why?"
Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!"
Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'"
Father: "What's the fucking difference?"
Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"
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One day, a teacher walks into her classroom to start the lesson.
She walks up to the board and sees in little writing the word "penis".
She thinks nothing of it and wipes it off.
The next day, she comes in and sees the word "penis", only this time it"s a little bit bigger.
She wipes it off again.
Sure enough, the next day she comes in and sees "penis" on the board a little bigger.
This proceeds until the end of the year when finally, it"s across the whole board.
The teacher wonders what"s gonna happen the next day since it"s taking up all the space on the board.
When she came in the next day but doesent find "penis".
This time she finds written, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets".
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?
Fred: None!
Fred (surprised): Why not?
Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
Little Johnny's father farted.
The son asked his father: "What was that?"
His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'"
When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind?
Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
One day, Little Johnny was with his father at home.
He asked: "What does "evolution" mean?"
His father replied, "Figure it out."
Next day, at school, during a math test, a boy raised his hand: "What's 289+308?"
The teacher said: "Figure it out."
Ten minutes later, Little Johnny looked at the boy and said: "Why don't you write "evolution"? Your teacher already told you!"
Little Mary came back home after school and said,
"Mommy, today during the school break Johnny kissed me on my lips!"
The mother asked indignantly but in surprise,
"And how did this happen?"
"It was not easy, but three of my classmates helped me to hold him firm."
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