Joke #274

When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote:
has 26.76 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: phone, women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!" "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
Vote:
has 85.65 % from 766 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, phone, women
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.” “Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor. “Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.” “Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
Vote:
has 83.54 % from 745 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, phone, wife, women
Women are like telephones. They love to be held. They love to be talked to. But, if you press the wrong button, you're disconnected.
Vote:
has 79.12 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: love, phone, women
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
Vote:
has 74.03 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Vote:
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote:
has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Vote:
has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America. She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?" The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya" And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum" The guy says: "In that case follow me" So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!" So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
Vote:
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, technology, women
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote:
has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
Vote:
has 40.93 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: airplane, travel, women