Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?”
Boy: “Not a bit!”
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When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
“Dad, can you write in the dark?”
“I think so. What is it you want me to write?”
“Your name on this report card.”
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
Joey and Katie are sitting in school.
Katie is sleeping and the teacher asks her a question.
"Katie, who created Heaven and Earth?" Joey sees Katie sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty! !" Exclaimed Katie.
"Correct." Says the teacher.
So the next day the same incident occurs and the same question comes up "Who created Heaven and Earth?"
Katie (Again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil "Jesus Christ almighty!" she exclaims.
"Correct again." Says the teacher.
So the next day, for a 3rd time, The teacher asks Katie "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Katie (again sleeping) is poked by Joey's pencil again, and screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I am going to crack it in half!"
Billy and Willy were at Sunday school studying about Noah’s ark.
On the way home, Willy asked, “Do you think Noah did much fishing?”
“How could he?” said Billy.
“He only had two worms”.
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping
student’s neighbor, “Hey wake that student up!”
The neighbor yells back, “You put him to sleep, you wake him up!”
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!”
Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?”
Boy: “No.”
Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.”
Boy: “And do you know who I am?”
Girl: “No,”
Boy: “Thank goodness!”
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel so well.
Father: Where does it hurt?
Son: In school.
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?"
Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"