Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”
A mother picked her son up from school and began to ask him about his day. “How do you like your new teacher,” she asked. “I don’t. She told me to sit in the front of the class for the present. But then she didn’t end up by giving me one!”
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, the kids yell, "Here comes the school bus."
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
Little Johnny's father farted. The son asked his father: "What was that?" His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'" When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.” “I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.” “Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Teacher: “Suppose there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?” Boy: “None.” Teacher: “None? You don’t know your arithmetic!” Boy: “Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”