Joke #2825

Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
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has 46.59 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
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has 58.06 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary.” “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again.” “Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven.” “Not exactly, I’m a sheep in Wales.”
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has 77.92 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, heaven, husband, sex
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Girl: Baby im wet. Boy: Want a paper towel? Girl: No, i want more then that ;) Boy: Want 2 paper towels? Girl: No, baby i want sumthing big and round ;) Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?
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has 84.63 % from 1372 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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has 76.19 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
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has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: age, catholic, dirty, priest, sex
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
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has 75.53 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, golf
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"
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has 79.10 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, horse, money