Joke #2825

Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...

How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.

Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”

*My dad helping me find a gf* Dad: What do you want most in a woman? Me: My dick. *Grounded and high fived*

Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply

Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common? A: Black are bigger than white.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Make choking noises...

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."