Joke #2956

What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!
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What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 34.65 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
Billy: What a pair of strange socks you're wearing, one is green and the other is blue with red spots!! Drew: Yes, it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
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A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 77.83 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
Two starving cannibals, a father and son, were out trying to get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came a little old man. The son said, "Oh Dad, there’s one." "No," said the father. "There’s not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait." A little while later, along came a really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he’s big enough." "No," the father said. "We’d all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just wait." About an hour later, there came this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there’s nothing wrong with that one Dad, let’s eat her." "No," said the father. "Were not going to eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we’re going to take her back alive, and eat your mother."
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More jokes about: kids
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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More jokes about: athlete, kids
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, Yo mama
At a dancing party a shy boy approached a girl and asked, "Will you dance with me, please?" The arrogant girl says, "I don’t dance with a kid." The taken back boy apologized, "I am sorry, I did not realize you were pregnant."
Vote: has 84.33 % from 208 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, music, women
There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That’s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
Vote: has 72.80 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids