Joke #2993

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.

Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo ? A: B-52...F-16...A-10.

A trio of old veterans were bragging and jokes about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."

A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop. The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."

Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.

What soldiers smell of salt and pepper? Seasoned troops!

During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."

Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best as she could."

Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.

The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offence. "You can take your choice, private - one month's restriction or twenty day's pay," said the officer. "All right, sir," said the bright soldier, "I'll take the money."