Joke #3021

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
Vote: has 73.69 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move? A: The splits!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, gym, kids, sport
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
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Q: Why couldn't the witch have children? A: Her husband had a hallow weenie.
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More jokes about: Halloween, husband, kids
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote: has 83.42 % from 419 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Vote: has 83.30 % from 1123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, death, kids
One Sunday morning,a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up. "Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way "round the back. There was a box near the front door that said "For the Sick."
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Your mama is so ugly, that she made a blind kid cry.
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More jokes about: insulting, kids, Yo mama
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.35 % from 397 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women