Q: What is the best Iraqi job ?
A: Foreign Ambassador.
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Where did Saddam Hussein keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
What do you call a young army?
Infantry.
Never underestimate the power of a small tactical nuclear weapon.
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."
America doesn't need a military...
We've got Chuck Norris
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Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
French Army rifles for sale – never fired and only dropped once!
As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step.
Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically:
"Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently.
"I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant.
The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's
office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.
"Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one.
"You didn't really do that, did you?"
"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, she simply asked,
"Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"
General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area when a sniper's bullet removed a button from his shirt.
He threw himself to the ground in terror.
The men stood around with the greatest unconcern.
The general yelled at a passing sergeant.
"Hey, isn't somebody going to kill that damned sniper?"
The sergeant looked down at the general and replied:
"I guess not, general.
We're scared that if we kill him the enemy will replace him with somebody who really knows how to shoot."