Joke #3099

Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Vote: has 44.53 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine. The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?" The kid replied: "What does it look like?"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, kids
One day a boy came home running while crying. His mother asked what happened why are you crying? The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’. His mother said ‘That’s horrible. what did you not do’. The boy in tears said`my homework’
Vote: has 78.28 % from 719 votes. Send joke:

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 54.49 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?"
Vote: has 42.00 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Vote: has 40.80 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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