Joke #3099

Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids
What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator ? The elevator can raise a child.
Vote: has 69.38 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
Vote: has 14.19 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, school, work
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street. Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!" (splash) "WHERE?" (splash)
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More jokes about: kids
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. "Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
Vote: has 84.31 % from 1128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, school, Thanksgiving
What is the difference between a fridge and a kid? A fridge doesn't shout when you put your meat inside it.
Vote: has 31.08 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, kids
Will was trying to to teach his son the evils of alcohol. He put a worm in a glass of water & another in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived while the one in the whiskey curled up & d*ed. "All right, son," Said Will, "what does that show you?" "Well dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol you will not have worms."
Vote: has 77.17 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dad, kids