Joke #3099

Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
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has 43.49 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
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My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?" She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."
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has 85.58 % from 1464 votes. More jokes about: dad, god, kids, marriage, wife
The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: kids, tax
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!"
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has 84.20 % from 454 votes. More jokes about: kids
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer? (They use bear conditioning!)
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: kids
Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".
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has 79.22 % from 762 votes. More jokes about: kids, sex, women
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: baby, hospital, kids
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
Q: What does a nosey pepper do? A: Gets jalapeno business!
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has 23.90 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: business, kids