Joke #3099

Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
Vote:
has 44.47 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The parish priest needs his house painted so he offers the job to one of his altar boys. The first day the kid paints the entire inside of the house, he’s sweating like hell but eventually gets it finished. The priest commends him on the work and with a flourish hands him a £5.00 note. The boy looks at the money and says to the priest, "Thanks very much Father,...you’re a virgin." The priest is a bit startled but makes no remark. The next day the boy has to paint the outside of the house; it’s a really hot day and he just manages to finish the job without collapsing. The priest looks at the job and this time gives the lad another £5.00 note. Once again the lad looks at the money and says, "Thanks very much Father, you really are a virgin." At this stage the priest decides to take action. "Tommy," he says, "that’s twice you’ve called me a virgin. Do you have any idea what the word means?" "Yes," says the kid, "a tight cunt."
Vote:
has 77.81 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, money, priest, work
A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids. A lady went and sat down next to him. She asked, "Are these all your kids?" The man replied, "No, I just work at a condom factory, these are all the complaints".
Vote:
has 76.88 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, business, kids, sex
A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest. "Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.
Vote:
has 84.30 % from 1316 votes. More jokes about: death, heaven, kids, little Johnny, priest
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Vote:
has 11.12 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids
Q: How was break dancing invented? A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
Vote:
has 53.74 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, insulting, kids, mean
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
Vote:
has 69.52 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
Vote:
has 75.44 % from 686 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Vote:
has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, kids, mean, technology
A couple of kids in the South get pulled over for speeding. When the trooper approaches the car, the driver says 'What's the problem, sir?'. The trooper takes out his machined aluminum flashlight and whacks the kid across the head saying 'You don't speak to a state trooper unless you're spoken to'. The trooper writes out the citation and gives it to the driver who responds 'Thanks a lot'. The trooper again gives the kid a dose of the flashlight and says 'When you address a state trooper, you finish your sentence with the word sir'. He then walks over to the passenger side and whacks the other kid with the flashlight. The kid says 'What was that for, sir?' The trooper says 'I was just fulfilling your wish. Y'all wouldn't have gotten 100 yards down this road before you'd have said to your friend, "I wish he'd have hit me with that flashlight", so I fulfilled your wish.'
Vote:
has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, kids
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
Vote:
has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women