Joke #3119

Q: Why do two skunks argue? A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
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What color is a burp? It's burple!
Vote: has 17.45 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever cut your grass and found a car. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'. You own a homemade fur coat. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction. People hear your car a long time before they see it.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, car, drunk, kids, wife
Saying the same thing over and over again but expecting different results is called parenting.
Vote: has 82.31 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, family, kids, life
A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
Vote: has 52.77 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"
Vote: has 80.44 % from 212 votes. Send joke:

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What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp? (A bear-faced lyre!)
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote: has 73.96 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money, wedding