Joke #313

Q: What did the police do when 241 hares got loose? A: They combed the area!
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cop

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A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
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has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Mam, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"? The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: cop
Did you hear about the policeman who found a stolen car on Acacia Street? He pushed it onto Park Street – he couldn’t spell Acacia.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
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has 11.12 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cop
A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?" The driver said, "You buyin'?"
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
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has 70.31 % from 700 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, light bulb, racist
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened ?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them ?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, game, golf, sport
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop