Why did the millionaire count his money with his toes?
So it wouldn't slip through his fingers!
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The Bible says I'll pay for my sins.
I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft.
The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million.
The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject.
They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect.
After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study.
The Canucks didn't really trust British or French studies.
So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00, the Canadian study was complete.
They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.
The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."
The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
The economy got very bad in 2008.
I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model.
‘You crafty old devil,’ says his friend.
‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’
‘Easy,’ replies the millionaire.
‘I told her I was 95.’
Q: How is a boss better than a wife?
A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
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