Johnny asked his mom how to deal with a girl at school who liked him a lot. His mom told him to find out how she really feels. Johnny asked how to do this and his mom told him to beat around the bush. Johnny then said, "what, just like you and dad do??"
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Little Johnny's father farted. The son asked his father: "What was that?" His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'" When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
The policeman tells Johny at the police station following: "The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head."Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?" Johny: "Only three euros." The policeman: "Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial."
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?" Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
"Johny, what is the difference between being sober and being drunken?" Johny: "When I was drunk I didn't need to buy a ticket to the carousel." "Ok, and when you were sober and wanted to go to the carousel what has happened then?" "The carousel man needed to center the whole carousel, of course. The left half of the carousel was for me and the right one for all the small children."
An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said, "If you put a little rubber cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that. The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus."
Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister's friend's pussy. She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite. As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her tits, when she said, "Aren't you going to feel my pussy?" He said, "I can't, its got teeth!" "Don't be a fool," she said, "have a look if you don't believe me." So he thought about it, then took off her panties and spread her legs. He looked in and said, "I'm not surprised you haven't got any teeth with gums like that!"
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden he needed to go the bathroom. He yelled out "Miss Jones I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now Johnny that is NOT the proper word to use in the situation. The correct word you want is urinate. Please use the word urinate in a sentence correctly and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a bit then says " You're an eight but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!"
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend."