Joke #3198

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Vote:
has 61.38 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America. She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?" The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya" And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum" The guy says: "In that case follow me" So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!" So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
Vote:
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, technology, women
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man. But hell does that burn!
Vote:
has 77.98 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, women
A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over. She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager. The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?" By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them. She says, "You sure he isn’t here?" The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?" The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: women
I want me a big black girl...the type of woman that sits in the car and it looks like it's got tinted windows.
Vote:
has 34.04 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, life, women
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman. One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere... The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman. The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois". The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.
Vote:
has 66.96 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: desert island, ethnic, men, women
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Vote:
has 63.33 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
Vote:
has 41.41 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, poems, prison, women
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Vote:
has 64.21 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Vote:
has 82.91 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women