The teacher was asking the end of the day question that she asks every Friday. If the student got it right they would not have to go to school on Monday. Little Johnny Was determined to answer correctly. So he painted two black marbles black and rolled them to the teachers feet. All of a sudden she Shouted out, "Who's the commedian with the black balls?". Johnny shouted out, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday suckas!".
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy is relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "HANG ON TIGHT DADDY! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home. "I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny. At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes! Did his doctor say he can see good?" The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Teacher: How old is your father? Johnny: As old as I am. Teacher: How is it possible? Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.
One day johnny's mam asks the class, "Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?" Suzi said, "Well, it's our hands. We do all the good things with our hand, so they are bound to go to heaven first." Teacher says, "very good. Anybody else?" Rocky says, "Well, it's our heart. We think all the good things with our heart, so it's bound to go to heaven first." Teacher says, "very good. Do you want to say something, Johnny?" Johnny says, "Our legs go to heaven first." Teacher, not getting any clue says, "How comes it, Johnny?" Johnny says, "Yesterday night, I was passing through my parent's room, & there was my mom,-legs high in the air- screaming 'Oh God! I am cumming'"
Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!" "What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?" "No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?" His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed." Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"