The teacher was asking the end of the day question that she asks every Friday.
If the student got it right they would not have to go to school on Monday.
Little Johnny Was determined to answer correctly.
So he painted two black marbles black and rolled them to the teachers feet.
All of a sudden she Shouted out, "Who's the commedian with the black balls?".
Johnny shouted out, "Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday suckas!".
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I saw the priest watching pornography.
Should I get jelous?
-Johnny, 11 years old.
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Teaching an English lesson, the teacher wrote on the board, fully aware of the grammar errors:
"I ain't had no fun in months"
"Now, how should I correct this sentence."
"Get a new boyfriend," said Little Johnny.
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Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom.
His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
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Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher.
When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by.
No kids, however, could offer her a solution.
Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
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The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”.
He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”.
She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”.
He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”.
She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers.
Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”.
He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby.
Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.
When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.
Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.
His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.
Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny."
Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision."
"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses!"
"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?"
"Because I helped her."
"But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?"
"I helped her eat her gummy bears."
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Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"
The policeman said, "What's he like?"
Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"
Teacher: "Who can tell me 5 wild animals?"
Little Johnny: "2 lions & 3 wolves."
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