Joke #323

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Vote: has 65.18 % from 254 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, Facebook, wife

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
Vote: has 87.88 % from 676 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, birthday, husband, marriage, wife
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Vote: has 87.47 % from 280 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
Vote: has 79.36 % from 1105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, love, sex, wife
There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”
Vote: has 78.34 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, military, war, wife
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Vote: has 62.69 % from 268 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, health, hospital, wife
Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him. The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"
Vote: has 52.46 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, marriage, time, wife
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, family, little Johnny
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, Halloween, ugly, Yo mama
Q: How is a boss better than a wife? A: A boss at least pays you for making your life miserable.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, management, money, wife