Joke #323

If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Vote:
has 64.63 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Facebook, wife

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Vote:
has 85.48 % from 373 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
Vote:
has 85.43 % from 747 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, husband, marriage, wife
Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."
Vote:
has 79.61 % from 1160 votes. More jokes about: birthday, love, sex, wife
There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions “What happened on June 6, 1944?” “We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir!” “What was the turning point of world war 2?” “Battle of the bulge, sir!” “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” The superior then said “Well, I’ll tell your wife that you forgot her birthday.”
Vote:
has 79.41 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: birthday, military, war, wife
A husband asks his very ill wife at the hospital: Tell me what is your last wish? Nothing more, I just want to check my status on Facebook.
Vote:
has 61.87 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, health, hospital, wife
Dave's wife thinks that he is pushing himself too hard, so she takes him to a local strip club for his birthday. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How are ya?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." They sit and a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, "You must come here a lot for that woman to know what you drink." "No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them." A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. "Hi, Davey," she says, "Want your usual lap dance?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. His wife starts screaming at him. The cabbie turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real doozy this time, Dave!"
Vote:
has 55.93 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, time, wife
Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Vote:
has 80.36 % from 931 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, technology
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Vote:
has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer: "Birth control."
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, medical, work