Joke #3234

Two undercover police officers assigned to the organized crime unit were overlooking a bloody mob hit scene. The victim had six gun shot wounds to the back of the head. One cop looks at the other and utters, "Worst case of suicide I've ever seen."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop

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The policeman tells Johny at the police station following: "The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head."Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?" Johny: "Only three euros." The policeman: "Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny, money
Q: What do you call a violent minority? A: A thug. Q: What do you call a violent white guy? A: Officer.
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has 70.20 % from 524 votes. More jokes about: cop, racist, white people
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cop
Why did the policman cry? because he couldn"t take his Panda to bed!
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has 11.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: cop
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Those poor cops, they put themselves in the line of fire to protect and serve us – yet we make jokes about them. Maybe if so many fat police officers weren’t sitting in a Dunkin Doughnuts writing speeding tickets they’d be left alone.
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
10. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 9. He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop". 5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat. 4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers. 3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids. 2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel. 1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over. “May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop. Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!”
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has 80.50 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop
Why does a blonde have an IQ 1 point higher than a policehorse? So she won't shit on the street during a parade.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, cop
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk