Joke #3246

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: "Do you know where your going?" Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother? New Recruit: Call for backup!
Vote: has 71.35 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater? A plain clothes police dog!
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
A police officer pulled a car over and arrested the driver for stealing the car. When he questioned the driver why he stold the car, the driver explained, "It was parked outside a cemetery and I thought the owner was dead!"
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed? A: A undercover cop.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed." Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, drug, flirt, weed
Why was the picture sent to jail? It was framed.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, drug, stupid, Yo mama
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote: has 64.75 % from 599 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, " I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir ." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. " Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don"t be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn"t have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !?" The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?" The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you"re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn"t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you"re driving." And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON"T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?" The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma"am?" "Only when he"s been drinking, officer."
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, husband, wife
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. "What are those for?" she asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use those in my act.’ "Well, show me," the officer demanded. So he got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer. Another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said, "My God. I've got to give up drinking! Look at the test they're giving now."
Vote: has 77.97 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, god