Joke #3251

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?
Vote: has 81.65 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, communication, women
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo. They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen. There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital. Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day. “Are you hurt?” she asks. She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
Vote: has 77.15 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, hospital, love, women
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, women
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: golf, men, sport, winter, women
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women, work
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, women
A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT." On the way to his office he regretted what he had promised, deciding that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note: Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that: 1) it had never been occupied 2) that there was plenty of heat 3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home. Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is heat if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is, indeed, of regular size, but if you don’t have enough furniture to fill it, please don’t blame the landlady!
Vote: has 81.29 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, men, money, women
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, marriage, women
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women