Joke #3402

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him. When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon. He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My husband has a split personality – and I hate both of them.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, IT, marriage
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we’ve been up for three weeks.
Vote: has 85.49 % from 177 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, mean, wife
Comebacks to that all time favorite question "Why Aren't You Married Yet?" 1. You haven't asked yet. 2. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life. 3. Because I just love hearing this question. 4. Just lucky, I guess. 5. It gives my mother something to live for. 6. My fiancé is awaiting his/her parole. 7. I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America. 8. Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon? 9. I'm waiting until I get to be your age. 10. It didn't seem worth a blood test. 11. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you. 12. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating. 13. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses. 14. I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund. 15. They just opened a great singles bar on my block. 16. I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness. 17. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals. 18. What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads? 19. I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck. 20. Why aren't you thin? 21. I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation. 22. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
After 20 years of marriage, a wife finds out that her husband had been f*cking her for the past 20 years with a dildo! she is so angry she asks her husband to "Explain the dildo". The husband replies "explain the kids?!"
Vote: has 73.53 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, husband, kids, marriage, time
Tom was a model husband. Mind you, he wasn’t a working model.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, friendship, marriage, wife
Marriage is bit like having a meal at a self-service buffet: you get exactly what you want, but when you see what another man’s got on his plate you fancy a bit of that as well.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage