Joke #3574

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
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Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
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Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex? A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
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There is nothing wrong with sex on TV – as long as you don’t fall off.
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A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs. When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble". When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
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Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
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Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.
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There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. Steve Martin
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Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
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