My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
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A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator.
On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."
On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce."
The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert.
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
What do women and police cars have in common?
They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?”
“I was stung by a bee!” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole.” she replied.
He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
Why can't single women fart?
They don't get an asshole till they get married.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A women who won't do what she's told.
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.