My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
In the beginning of time, God created the world and then rested.
Then he created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then neither God nor man has rested.
Question: How many men does it take to open a beer?
Answer: None. It should already be open by the time she brings it.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
”I think you're bad luck."
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the little amount of time you're inside them.
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!"
Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
"Sorry sir, are these plastic flowers?"
"As natural!"
"What? They are natural?"
"No, plastic!"
"But, for Christ Sake, sir! Are they natural or plastic?"
"Natural plastic!"
Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
Vote: