A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me. I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't? Ended a race.
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.