Joke #3736

‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.

My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...

Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’

Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"

A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were so on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck. He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner. He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said "Meet me in room 804 across the street." He was in luck. She was a knockout. They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed. She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said "How much for a hand job?" She said, "300". His eyes popped open and he asked "300?" She said, "Walk over to that window and open the curtains". He proceeded. "See that motel down there? I own it, and I didn't inherit it. I'm that good." He was like, "well go right ahead honey". So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had. After a little rest he thought, if that was that good..."How much for a blow job?" She said "600". OH MY GOD! was his reply. She told him to walk back over to the window. "See that 15 story hotel? I own it and I didnt inherit it. I'm that good." He said "Well get to work then sweetie." And sure enough he got the best blow job he ever received. After a little "rebuilding" time he thought, if that was that good... "How much for sex?" She chuckled and said, "Honey, I'd own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy."

What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.

You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.

A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"

Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone? Answer: No! Response: Wanna go to a party?