Joke #3831

Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’

Even the story of Sir Walter Ralegh confirms that he put his brand new coat over bumps with mud for his wife to cross it. Why? Because he was on sea for 15 months and he desperately wanted to have sex. No normal man that is well in his brains would do this to his expensive coat.

The wife is back on the warpath again. I suggested that we make a little sex tape ... she was up for it ... until I suggested holding auditions. I just don’t understand why she is so mad!

Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.

What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.

A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.

A wife who put her husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."

I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.

The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".

Q: What is a difference between Ooooh and Aaaah? A: Only 3 inches.