Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’
Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
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Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87.
And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
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"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal.
"Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer.
Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.
'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert.
'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free!
'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.
Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK masturbate in the shower, and the other half sing.
Do you know what they sing?’
Friend: ‘No I don’t.’
Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"