Joke #3842

Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Vote:
has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete, darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go. ... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income-tax evasion to the government. . . ." "That's all right, sweetie, don't give it a second thought," answered Peter, "I'm the one who poisoned you."
Vote:
has 53.40 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, money, wife
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote:
has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, money
‘How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars…’ Steve Martin
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment. And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50.
Vote:
has 81.88 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: death, family, money, time, work
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
Vote:
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money, school, student
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV? A: The Dallas Cowboys.
Vote:
has 79.57 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: communication, cowboy, football, money, sport
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the Bishop with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the Bishop looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the Bishop and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The Bishop put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Vote:
has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wedding
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Vote:
has 69.17 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: money
I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way. My dad left it to me in his will.
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Vote:
has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: money, weed