Joke #3842

Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money

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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money
After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something. "So, what’s up man?" "It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad." "What is going on?! "Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars." "How did it go?" The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something. "Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23." "And it went out again?" "No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after." "I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls." The other friend, continuing to chew louder: "What do you think I’m doing?"
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has 20.98 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, life, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
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has 61.37 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: god, insulting, money, Yo mama
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
Our house was so small if we got a large pizza we had to go outside to eat it.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Peter sat at his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Pete, darling," she breathed, "I've a confession to make before I go. ... I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe. I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Alex. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported your income-tax evasion to the government. . . ." "That's all right, sweetie, don't give it a second thought," answered Peter, "I'm the one who poisoned you."
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has 53.70 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, money, wife
We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: How was copper wire invented? A: Two jews fighting over a penny.
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has 79.48 % from 2077 votes. More jokes about: jewish, money, racist
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire? A very witch person.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: money