Joke #3880

Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: money

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Doctor to woman: "What is the matter about your husband?" Woman: "He is worrying about MONEY." Doctor: "I think I can relieve him of that."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, husband, money
Q: Why is divorce so costly? A: Because its justified, despite all the trouble.
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John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
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has 82.09 % from 375 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, car, marriage, money, wife
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, money
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
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has 68.05 % from 308 votes. More jokes about: fart, god, insulting, money, Yo mama
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp? The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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has 49.25 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
One day a 12-year-old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the driver lowered a window. "I’ll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car," said the driver. "No way! Get lost!" replied the boy. "How about a bag of M&Ms and 10 dollars?" the driver asked. "I said no way," replied the boy. "What about a bag of M&Ms and 50 dollars?" asked the driver. "No, I’m not getting in the car," answered the boy. "Okay, I’ll give you a bag of M&Ms and 100 dollars," the driver offered. "No!" replied the boy. "What will it take to get you in the car?" asked the driver. The boy replied: "Listen, Dad: You bought the Volvo-you live with it!"
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has 78.64 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, money
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax