Joke #3955

Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
Vote:
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently." "Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
Vote:
has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, life
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, life
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.
Vote:
has 84.14 % from 487 votes. More jokes about: god, heaven, life
Man returning with his wife from guests. Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife. But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
Vote:
has 24.15 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: life
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
Vote:
has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, god, heaven, life, political
You know what I was thinking about right now? What it would be like to have six fingers....high fives would be different.
Vote:
has 33.86 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: life
A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw." From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying bastard!" "Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You tightwad!" blurts the spectator. "Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout. The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?" "I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
Vote:
has 84.12 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: death, life, time
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
Vote:
has 66.43 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: life
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
Vote:
has 46.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, black people, chocolate, life, mexican
Programming is like sex One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: life, programmer, sex