Joke #4120

Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it’s damned near impossible.
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has 85.40 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.” The friend says, “Why not?” The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
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has 85.74 % from 380 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
They were married, but since the argument they had a few days earlier, they hadn't been talking to each other. Instead, they were giving each other written notes. One evening he gave her a paper where it said: "Wake me up tomorrow morning at 6 am." The next morning he woke up and saw that it was 9 o'clock. Naturally he got very angry, but as he turned around he found a note on his pillow saying: "Wake up, it's 6 o'clock!"
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, work
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A widow.
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has 83.73 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
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has 84.96 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean, sport, wife
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer"? She said, "Yes." ...He said. "Ok, then, I'd like to phone a friend."
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
I can remember where I got married. I can remember when I got married. I just can’t remember why.
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has 85.65 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
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has 51.95 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: car, genie, marriage, wife